* Produced by Martin Jandl & Konrad Mitschka (English Translation : Chris Rauseo)
Movement in different directions. Conductor’s hands go down, spectators’ necks go up. Only the curtain must wait.
Faye sometimes handles it more lovingly than she does Ishii, producing harmony in the instrument and disharmony in marriage.
Curriculum vitae Résumé
Brilliant literary self-portrait. Subject to wilful distortion. You will find Kimbo Ishii’s résumé here.
According to Celibidache a secret dictator, who fortunally is satisfied just with music.
Provides raw material for batons and instruments. Of no other use.
Not a musician; plays the viola. Her music resounds like no other in Kimbo Ishii’s heart.
Concert organizers should bear in mind that half of all fees are allocated for taxes and social security, one third is for the agent, one quarter for expenses, and what little is left goes to the wife and child. Conductors should be offered bread and water during negociations.
Registers all incoming sounds, which can lead to unusual deformations with conductors. It judges, develops and anticipates sounds all at once. Requires long rehearsals to the dismay of musicians and to the delight of the public.
Ishii, Kimbo Ishii, Kimbo
Subject of this home page. His friends maintain that he transforms his combination of Chinese, Japanesem Austrian and American charm directly into music. He himself claims to be a relatively undistinguished member of his family: his grandfather is a famous painter, his uncle runs one of Asia’s leading mainboard producers and even his kid sister is a pop star in Japan.
Exports sushi, gameboys and hybrid beings who eat the former while manipulating the latter: diligent conductors.
According to some self-important maestros, a scribbler of false tempos:
“I conducted well, and he composed badly”.
Comparable in effect to a hammer hitting an anvil till it hurts.
Like noise, but the ears want to hear it.
Music lovers consider it a useless piece of anatomy.
Funnel-shaped outgrowth, which hears some things it likes, some it dislikes and many things it shouldn’t. Often bitten in bed.
Expectation of what’s to come, although it never comes as expected. Which proves that the orchestra’s idea doesn’t always have to coincide with the conductor’s in order to succeed.
Claims to have heard sounds the conductor never let occur.
Rattle, Simon Rattle, Simon
According to Debussy, an unnecessary activity during an opera, which he defined as “pleasant entertainement which would be even better without singing”.
Unfortunately too short to hit underachieving musicians.
Urknall Big Bang
The proof that in the beginning there were neither conductors nor the public. Conductors would have turned it into celestial harmony, and with a concert public it would be labelled a world premier performance.
A vengeful piece of wood, which Ishii tried unsuccesfully to tame 30 years ago. Ten years later it struck back, and numb fingers put an end to his career as a violinist and made him a condcutor.
Somehow managed to be created without a conductor lifting his baton.
Unknown in Ishii’s performances. Everything is in its place.
Y-Achse Axis of Y
Fortunately other ways of measuring space exist. Concutors need x and z axises as well.
Indispensable for music performance. Singers need it for vocalises, clarinettists for moistining, and Ishii for showing his states of ecstasy.